Unlock the Secret to Standing Out in a Crowded Job Market: Add NO Personality to Your CV!

I've been having a clear out.

My back bedroom needed a risk assessment and a hard hat.

During the spring-ish clean, I found my old CV.

I stopped what I was doing and began to ponder how I'd ever been employed, anywhere.

Please have no personality

My first thought was: Why were you taught from a young age that a good CV should be drier than the desert.

I actually wrote the words 'I can work independently and as part of a team.' If I saw this now, I'd be suspicious - the lady doth protest too much.

As somebody who has worked in HR and now has their own business, am I alone in saying I'd much rather see something like:

'I work well with a wide range of people. I work even better sat at home in my PJs. I can adapt to most situations but if you sit me next to somebody that eats crisps too loudly I will be ringing HR.'

Please do not answer honestly about what you enjoy

My second thought: Imagine if we were honest with the hobbies and interests section?

If you were an alien doing a quick scan on UK job applications, you'd think everyone was an avid gardener, liked long walks and socialising with friends.

I had a think about what I'd answer now, in terms of what I enjoy and without the fear of letting some personality seep through.

Shockingly - I realised that I DO enjoy long walks (followed by a pub). I like piecing places together, connecting up dots as you walk. I like seeing how places blend into one another, I like noticing the boundaries between them. Walking helps me feel at home and it makes me more focused on my to do list.

I also like socialising with friends. Yet I also like recharging my batteries and not uttering a word for hours. This balance helps me apply myself more with whatever I need to do during the week.

Would I mentioned that I can waste 3 hours on TikTok in a conspiracy hole? Would this make me look like a research focused gal or a time waster? Do I include that I'm a mediocre cook partial to burning things but on a whole somebody focused on being kind and inclusive?

Avid Gardeners

As a side note, I had the audacity to write on my old CV that I was in fact, an avid gardener. I don't know a cactus from a daisy.

Whilst gardening is a great skill, where did we ever get the idea that it's SO sought after in employment?!

My question here is one of general curiosity - from an old scrap of paper found in my back bedroom, is what do people think makes a valuable CV these days? What do you want to see or get an idea from - or does personality come in the interview stage?